6:15 p.m. - Monday, Jun. 13, 2005
Heaven Bend Please
Today was about this & that & starting a new week again & getting over death & realizing how worthless work really is when nothing else matters. And my God, I've been listening to this song for like a year now, I've heard it a million times, & only today did it really strike me how much this song fits my life:
Fallen by Sarah McLachlan
Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere long the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
We all begin out with good intent
When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear
Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to these I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem away to be redeemed
Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
In other things, I can't believe how happy I was when I just spoke to Jen a short while ago & made plans for tomorrow. I guess I really needed that.
Poor Kristin. Again, I'm left wondering if there's anything I can even do for her & the misery she feels herself once in awhile, though I'm pretty sure (& would like to think) that it's not as bad as mine.
I'm absolutely astounded at the verdict in the Michael Jackson case, but I'm sure plenty of people are voicing that opinion everywhere. I mean, I don't really know what happened, but either way, it always seems that if you've got fame & have or have had fortune, you'll be just fine. I know some people who have been molested as children & I don't believe that any punishment can redeem the pain they've gone through..but this was just plain insulting. Not even getting slapped on the wrist for serving alcohol to a minor? I mean, really...& sure, one could argue that there's so much more wrong in the world that we shouldn't be worrying ourselves with this. But don't even get me started on why I believe Bush is a total moron & how we shouldn't be at war right now & how messed up that whole ordeal is. Our whole world is upside down right now, might as well add some more to it, I guess.
In trying to find some beauty in all of it...listen to the Jack Johnson CD, holy cow that's some good stuff.
And now I'm going to play with rats & eat from my Hello Kitty Pez dispenser & go running like nobody's business.
