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10:49 a.m. - Thursday, Jun. 30, 2005
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I don't know. Or maybe I do & that's the problem.

One thing's for sure. While I was crying out my stress, anger & frustration last night, there was only one person there who kept trying to reach me with comforting words & a comforting hand on my arm, & the sad part was, I kept pushing him away. I'd just sit there, unanswering, just letting myself grieve. I needed the release.

Meanwhile, he didn't walk away. Even though he didn't get any welcoming glances or anything. He just was patient, & lay next to me, & was just...there. Which I guess I hadn't realized at the time, but maybe that's all I really needed.

But if I keep this up, this pushing & shoving away from me, it'll only be a matter of time before he gets tired of it & walks away completely. And honestly, I can't say that I'd blame him for it.

I'm so blessed & I don't even know it.

 

 

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