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5:43 p.m. - Friday, Jul. 01, 2005
Happy 4th!
It's amazing that you can actually miss a piece of space that you've subsided in for really only a short amount of time.

Just thinking about it, leaving this old apartment behind.

I have so many memories in this place. This is where I lived alone for a year, learning the most about myself, where I spent 25, which has been my best year to date. It's also where I've spent a year with a man who was new to my life, but not.

This little apartment has known so many of my tears, laughs, smiles, giggles, frowns, & so much more I can't even come up with right now. These walls have heard so much, seen so much. I can look at the carpet behind me & remember sitting there with friends, laying there with a boyfriend, staring at the ceiling alone & dreaming, & playing with ferrets. I can look at the cabinet I had kicked in & remember the frustration of that day I left my last job. I can look at the window sill in the kitchen & remember leaning on it & crying when I broke up with Bill. And I can look at that wall in the den & remember my computer having been there, where I spent many a night on AIM.


Speaking of Bill...pretty frustrating, I said hello to him a couple of days ago...actually, it was more of a "Happy 4th of July", & nothing back. Interesting, considering he was so easily swayed to start talking to his other ex, the one he claimed ruined his ability to love forever, when we first started dating, but he won't so much as utter a thing at me, even though I'm pretty the most harmless of all. Good way to treat someone who was your best friend for a number of years, huh?

On another note, 4th of July, yes. Nice long weekend, but jam packed with crap to do, but there are also plans for nice things, like 2 nights of fireworks, a baseball game, a movie, etc. So that's pretty nice. And a bigger apartment. I can't wait to get those keys.

And I'm out like trout.



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