12:31 p.m. - Sunday, Jun. 26, 2005
Thinking
Oh, I don't know.
I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I wanted this man, this marriage we're working on putting together, this home that we've created.
I feel like that song is still my theme song..."There's Gotta Be More To Life" by Stacie Orricho.
'There's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me...'
I don't know how long it's been since I've been so unhappy, & so afraid of myself. I'm wagering it's been about a year & a half. That says alot, you know.
I hate that I'm still not over alot of things. I hate that I can't let go of gripes, grudges, & worse of all, people. Even the toxic ones.
I hate that I'm still waiting for closure on things that will probably never reach closure. Nor present the opportunity for it.
And I hate that I'm about to make an even bigger step into something I'm still unsure of & doubt more & more with each passing day.
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