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11:14 a.m. - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Around in the Background
I'm not even sure where to begin.

It's been so long since I've written in here. As usual in the last what, 5 years or so? I'll leave for quite awhile, because I just don't have the inspiration or whatnot, but then come back for an entry, then take off. I wonder if that will happen again this time. The thing is, I miss this place, but I'm afraid to write in here because of all those that knew about this address. However, because it's been so long since I've written here, & it's so intermittent now it's not even funny, they probably don't check anymore. And if they do, that's just sad because the people that did know about this, well, let's just say I haven't talked to them in awhile.

So...what's new? Well, lots. Biggest thing I can think of is that I've lost Lucy. It feels weird even saying that, because it's been over a month, but still it doesn't seem real. She had been fighting quite a few illnesses by the time she left us. The truth is, I'm amazed that she made it as long as she did. She was nearly 8 when I had to bring her in to put her to sleep, & by that point, she'd been fighting insulinoma, liver cancer, the beginning of adrenal gland disorder, & just old age in general. And she'd go through some tough periods where she was more sickly than others, but that would only last a few days at a time. Overall, right up until the end, she was still the same old vibrant, cute, cuddly & friendly little Lucy I've always known & loved, just a little slower because hey, she was the equivilant of an 80 year old lady. I miss her so much, it's crazy. I know it had to be done, but it really was one of the hardest decisions of my life. It's weird, one might take a step back & say, 'hey, it's only a pet'. But this 'pet' has been part of my life for 8 years. She's seen me through more heartaches & tears & joy then even some of my closest friends saw. She was there to cuddle with me when I broke up with Chris, when I lived alone in Woonsocket, when I lost my job at Arch. She was there to make me laugh at 3am when I couldn't sleep. She was there. I moved house 4 times with her, went through 3 boyfriends, got married, bought a house, got a new job. She was there. And I loved & cherished every moment I got with her. I thank God for the gift of her, & how much she changed my life & how much I learned from her. I just hope & pray that the life I gave her was enough.

Also, we lost Shy in December 2007. Although she was Matt's cat, I did know her for 4 wonderful years & I miss her dearly, too. She ended up with a cancerous tumor on her chin that was spreading way too quickly. It was only 2 months after we found it & got it diagnosed that we had to put her to sleep. She was such a good cat, so well-mannered & when she trusted you, you knew it was for life because she didn't easily trust just anyone. I miss her most at night because I go to bed just a little earlier than Matt & she'd always sneak into our bedroom & cuddle with me until I fell asleep. I'd rub her soft white belly & she'd stretch all out & you could almost see the joy on her face.

I also have gotten a new job. I started this new job in October 2007. Although I have to admit I hated it at first, now I love it. I wouldn't trade it for a job back in my old department. Let me just say THANK GOD I'm not in my old department. I can't even go into it now, but let's just say I'm going to leave work in 5 minutes, which is 1.5 hours earlier than I'm supposed to, according to their rules, because I hate working for them so much. I still do overtime for them on the weekends (hence me updating from work today) but I think I'm done. They're a bunch of evil bitches over there in management & one of them today really crossed me while I'm doing THEM a favor by coming in today. Oh well. Thank God my new manager is pretty cool & willing to go to bat for me.

So that's it for now, because I'm going to try to book it. I hope I don't get in trouble, but I think the worst they can do to me is take OT away, which, whatever, that might be a blessing in disguise.



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