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6:31 p.m. - Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2006
Mood: hopeful

Song: "Love Like Winter" by a.f.i.

So I've been meaning to write in here on a more regular basis, but I keep 'coming up with other stuff to do'. aka...World of Warcraft. It's horrible, I know. I've totally sunk my life into it, but not on purpose, obviously. But yeah, lately, I've been feeling the urge to start writing in here again. Which kind of worries me. When I was really writing in here all the time, keeping up daily, sometimes multiple times a day, I was severely depressed & this is the place I turned to so I could vent so I didn't feel so alone. It's not that I'm feeling depressed these days, though. I guess it's the fact that I have alot on my mind & sometimes I really don't feel like telling anyone about it, but yet I want to get it out. I suppose this would be the perfect place for that.

I miss what this diary used to be, though. I used to like going back & reading prior entries, but I don't even feel the urge to do that now. I guess I might want to one day, though.

So what's on my mind lately? Well, I'm hopeful because a new year will be beginning soon. Which is kind of a silly thing, when you think about it. We put so much pressure on ourselves to start all these new things when the new year begins with our resolutions, but really, if you truly want to change anything about yourself, you could start at anytime throughout the year. But still, there is something wonderful about the start of a new year. It's almost like you feel you have a clean slate...a brand new chance to try things a little differently. I know I'm feeling that way these days. Of course, I'm realistic & know I'll probably fall off the bandwagon quick, but that's ok. It's nice to feel motivated for once.

Christmas was so crappy this year, & considering it was only a couple of days ago, I'm feeling very eager for a new start. The family was just pretty yucky, & what's worse is that they were yucky at my house, which means I had to put up with them until they decided to leave later at night. Also, my mom was a bucket of yuck, but I can't blame her...she got lost on the way to my house & ended up near Pascoag, which happens to be where my father's newest fling lives (we found out through our lovely evil grandmother who called to tell her on Christmas Eve...grrr...). So the holiday was rough. But I got some really nice gifts, especially from Matt. He did the cutest thing for one of them, he bought a matching scarf, hat & glove set & also stuck a gift certificate in the bag & said he wanted me to buy myself a nice new winter coat (I really need one). He would've bought the coat himself but wanted to make sure it was something I truly wanted, so what better way to make that happen then to let me pick it out myself, right? He also gave me a really nice card, which says 'wife' on it & that alone makes me giddy, not to mention what was written inside was absolutely heart-melting. He always knows just how to get me.

I guess that's it for now. This is a big deal as it is for me, lol. So funny how it wasn't always this way. Life is so strange sometimes. I think I'm going to try to improve on my design, like I was thinking of buying a membership again & putting up my old OLD Dido brings back good memories. I was listening to her the other day & maybe that's why I got the urge to write in here again. Who knows...



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